There are two sides to every story, two sides to the same coin, there’s a double-edged sword, yin and yang.  There are countless idioms that express this thought.  We tend to look at things in terms of good or bad, right or wrong, ugly or beautiful.

There is ugly in the world.  Evil that has all kinds of faces. We are bombarded by it every day in the news, online, maybe in line at the checkout, definitely on the highway.  Sometimes we are shocked by things that people we thought we knew say.  Sometimes it’s a misunderstanding, sometimes they are having a bad day and their reaction has nothing to do with you, but it is their response to something ugly that has happened to them.

There is so much beautiful in the world.  Sunrise, sunset, the Northern Lights.  The mountains and the oceans.  Birds and flowers.  Art, music, poetry and great literature. 

What I want to talk about is the ugly and the beautiful when it is one and the same.  It’s not two-sided.  It’s in perception.  It’s a mindset, a way of thinking that can shake up your world in ways that are completely unexpected and sometimes life altering.  It’s a way of thinking that can change your mood and how you react to things in such a profound way that you will never be the same.

What if the ugly and the beautiful can sometimes be the same?  What if you could see the ugly as something beautiful?  How would that change your mood, alter the way you react to how you respond to the ugly? 

Sometimes in life, things that we might perceive as tragic, painful, hard to see or experience, still have a side of beauty to them.  Let’s start with something simple.  The desert perhaps, a hot and dry barren wasteland.  Full of plants that prick you and insects that sting you.  But in the desolation, there is certainly beauty.  Look closely and you will see that the cactus has the most beautiful flowers, the animals have the most amazing adaptations, the desolation is strangely appealing in some ways.  The scenery is beautiful in its immensity. 

So too, there are things in life, struggles and trials, that as we are going through them, we are so wrapped up in our own emotions we cannot see past what we are experiencing.  This is when it’s time to stop and take a breath, close our eyes and ask ourselves where is the beauty in this ugly situation?   It might not be there, or we may not be able to see it because of our grief.  If we keep an open mind and let the experience overtake us, you may find that there is beautiful there.  A parent is aging and it’s hard to see and very hard to cope with, especially if you are having to deal with all of the challenges.  Stop and look at their wrinkles, their aged hands.  Stop to think how this all represents a life well lived, so much beauty in those hands.  How many times have those hands comforted someone, shook someone’s hand to congratulate them, those shaky arms have hugged so many.  That’s the beautiful.  Start looking for the beautiful in your tough situations.

Sometimes the ugly is a call to you, a challenge.  Take something you see that’s ugly and turn into something beautiful.  Lend a hand, hug someone, pay a bill for them, treat them to lunch, just listen to them.  Make a difference.  Making a difference doesn’t have to be something huge, it doesn’t have to involve a huge financial donation or a grand gesture.  All you need to make a difference is an open mind, an open heart and an open ear.

Take time this week, look at the dead leaf as a sign that Spring is on the way.  Look at the ice on the trees and see the natural artistry there.  Be aware of the kindness of strangers you may observe or be that kind stranger.  Hug as many people as you can, hold someone’s hand, stop being afraid to be vulnerable.  Look at something you think is ugly and try to find the beauty in it.  If you can’t maybe try to turn it into something beautiful.  Ugly and beautiful don’t always have to be separated, sometimes you can take a rock and paint a lovely picture on it.  At least give it some thought.