I have a dear friend, Jean who I have shared many of my life milestones with. We have supported each other and had great fun together. Sometimes we have adventures and sometimes we have misadventures. No matter what Jean always says “it’s all about the story”! And indeed it really is. Our lives are a story that we are writing every day. If you knew you could write the next great novel, would you?

Well you are the next great novel, your story is the next great story – for you, your family and friends. For the stranger you help, the young person you encourage, the older person you visit.

Live your life each day like it is the next great novel. You are the hero of your story – BE THAT HERO. All great heroes have struggles, relatable flaws, inner turmoil. They overcome adversity and inspire others to overcome their own difficulties.

Live your life as that hero! Write the great novel that is your life with stories that help, inspire, persevere and love. Write stories of over coming pain, obstacles and sufferings. Write stories of adventure, laughter and joy.

Write your great novel with stories that live.

You cannot make time!

We are only allotted a limited number of hours, days, weeks and years.

So when we “spend” our time, we should treat it like the most valuable currency in the world (because it is). When you are planning how you will spend your budget of time make sure you spend the bulk of it on what’s most valuable. Stop and consider what people and things are asking for or needing a chunk of your time currency.

Also stop and consider – if you could get a refund on the time you now know was wasted, what would those refunds be for? How can you avoid wasting your time on those things in the future?

Don’t keep throwing your time away on things that aren’t valuable. Friends, family, charitable pursuits, joyful activities, meaningful work – these are worthy of your time. Your peace, your sanity, your health – anything that adds to these, is worthy of your time. Don’t spend a lot of time in worry, anxiety, picking out the right toilet paper!

What you spend your time on should be done mindfully, deliberately and with happy anticipation. Regrets come from throwing away your time on the wrong pursuits. Take those lessons and move forward today and make every moment a sacred moment.

Today I had a plan.  I got up made my coffee and put myself together and started on my “list”.    You know how it goes, had everything planned out, worked out the national debt and loaded up the Escape and headed out the door.  Made it as far as stop number three before the plan went out the door and the day went to – well you know.

Everything went to Hell in the proverbial hand basket and as I regrouped for the day I lamented not for the first time how this year is not really working out any better than 2015.  My hope and change has turned into anger, annoyance and sometimes despair.  So I did the only thing I could..back up, regroup and forge ahead.

Later in the day as I settled into being somewhat more productive I was looking for a particular picture in all the places that modern media has allowed us to share and store our pictures.  It’s not like looking through the shoe box anymore.  It’s great to click the mouse a couple of times and scroll through several years of pictures in just a few minutes.  Looking at those pictures reminded me of all the great moments that I had last year and already this year, putting a smile on my face.  I started thinking about how we sometimes live too much in the moment and what a shame it is that we allow trouble to overtake us and dwell in us and make us forget all the great moments that we have experienced.

We too often allow an incident, an acquaintance, a betrayal or a disappointment to become the focus of our day, our week or our year.  We give away our happiness, our contentment and our joy of life to someone or something.  We fall into despair unable to feel joy or feel happiness.  We in essence throw away all the good experiences we have had, all the good friends and good times, all the joys that God has given us.  We say that the bad has more power than the good, that evil really does overcome virtue and the bad guy always wins.  That is true despair and a waste of the life that God has given us.

Please don’t misunderstand, I know pain and sorrow, betrayal and fear and I am in no way discounting the very real suffering that most of us endure from time to time in our lives.  There is no Easter without the Cross.  But as we endure and embrace our cross we must also remember the beauty of the Spring, how the greatest beauty can often be seen in smallest of things.  Remember the joy that we have experienced is there to be experienced again if we just remember to look at the pictures.

 

Those that know me well know that I have some quirky interests.  I find the human mind interesting and I like to delve into the damaged and sometimes darker elements of it.  I believe that evil does exist in the world and I like to explore what and why.  I love the beach in the starkness of the winter.  I find abandoned and neglected buildings to have a somber beauty.

AND yet I am a sunshine girl.  I love Spring and Summer with all the green, all the colorful blooms and the warmth.  I love the brilliant colors of Fall.  I am generally a very upbeat and happy person.  I love Christmas and the hope of the New Year.  BUT I do not like February.  After Mardi Gras it’s pretty much down hill until Spring, well – springs.  Don’t get me started on Valentines Day.  I mean really, tell the one you love that you love them everyday.  Bring them candy and flowers and take them to dinner on a regular basis.  We don’t need a day for that.

Hence the name of my blog…

This year however as I ponder Lent and the cold, I have decided to embrace the beauty of nothingness.  The one unscheduled second in my day, the few unproductive moments while waiting in line, the few minutes after I finish a book before I decide on the next one.  The blank thoughts I have when I enter a room and I forgot why.  The times I can’t rush out the door to go shopping because my bank account is empty.  The times when I am in despair and cannot even think to form a coherent thought or prayer.  The absolute quiet that comes when I don’t know what my next move is going to be.

I am embracing these things, these moments, these stark reminders that life is a journey that I have very little control over because in seeing the beauty of the dark and scary as well as the sunshine and soothing, I am reminded that all of life is an embraceable experience that leads me to the next better thing.  I am reminding myself that even in February there is the promise of Spring.

Several years ago I fell in love with Goldfish-Koi ponds.  My cowboy and I spent quite some time checking out several of the best pondscape stores and on the internet getting ideas.  One day we bought some supplies and decided to build one into the deck which morphed into two and eventually three.  After a house fire pretty much destroyed our yard, as well as our house we kind of let things go.  Still every Spring, there they were, a few of the fish hiding in the wildness swimming around.  I wanted my peace back and so two years ago we got back to fixing up one of the ponds and getting some more fish.  I got to again spend some time relaxing outside enjoying the view and watching them swimming around.

Why so fascinating you wonder?  What is it that we can learn from a goldfish for goodness sake.  No big brain power there.  They are pretty and come in many varieties, sort of like flowers they are.  You want to get one of each kind.  Very low maintenance.  They just require some fresh air, water and food.  If you skip a  few days feeding it’s no big deal because really there is plenty in the water already for them to eat.  Very self sufficient they are.  But wise?  And yet….

Consider how they function.  They except their element, they adapt to their environment.  Small space, no big deal.  They are content to swim, and eat and mate.  Two fish or ten fish they embrace them all.  Warm weather stirs their soul, makes them active.  They enjoy the bounty that God provides with the season and play hide and seek amid the vegetation.  Move them to a larger space, no big deal.   More room to swim and yet they still eat and mate and explore their environment.  They take joy in what is simple and accept what they have but are willing to embrace change and to accept good fortune but they don’t waste their time waiting for it.  Then the Fall comes and things change, the days get shorter and the water cooler and they start to slow down, time to take stock, find a safe place to winter and prepare for what is to come.  Then when the Winter sets in they really come to a stand still, they hunker down and ride it out.  Waiting again because they know that the Winter will pass and Spring will come again.

This year has been especially interesting because the weather cooled down and they were getting ready.  You can tell because they slow down and don’t come to top as much.  You don’t have to feed them in the Winter because they slow down so much but this year after the initial cool down it warmed back to Springtime weather.  Guess what, they adapted, back to the top, swimming around and enjoying the warmth.  No questions asked, no complaints or expectations.  They just accepted the gift and now as the cold sets in again back to the bottom they go.  Not worrying about what was or what is to come because they know…Spring is coming back.

And that is the wisdom of goldfish.  Accept what is, make the best of it, it doesn’t matter what size family, job, house, car or space you have been given,  just enjoy those little surprises fully that may come your way and know with a heart full of hope that Spring and Summer will return.

 

 

My one New Year’s resolution was to eat a bowl of Frosted Flakes that I had hidden away in my closet.  Seems a bit extreme unless you consider that I live with young adults who will eat whatever they find as soon as they find it.  My big challenge was overcome when I discovered that there was milk in the fridge.  Quite a feat when you consider that I buy at least five gallons of milk each week.  Milk that my husband and I don’t drink.  I am telling you this to give you my perspective on New Year’s resolutions.

I used to make resolutions each year and occasionally I would make some progress or would be somewhat successful in obtaining them.  Generally speaking they would be abandoned rather quickly or as most often happens life would change the course of things and other priorities would come to the fore.

So as age and hopefully wisdom would have it,  I have now abandoned the “tradition” of resolutions.  This year’s popular media take is for celebrities to tell you what they resolve not to do.  Age has taught me that this is a dangerous practice as “never say never” has become my mantra as time goes by and I have had to do things I never thought I would even consider.

So with my limited wisdom I put the following forth for your consideration.

New Year resolutions are rather arrogant really – to presume that you know the course of events that will come your way or that you have any kind of control over things you may or may not do is ridiculous really.

I’m not saying not to have dreams or goals.  I’m not saying that you shouldn’t strive for self improvement or to break bad habits.  Those are all noble endeavors and often obtainable.

A resolution is a firm decision not to do something and you just can’t make that promise to yourself or anyone.  You can come up with a dream or desire, turn it into an obtainable goal and make a plan with concrete steps to get you to that goal.  Just know that life happens and in those steps there should be room to shift gears or directions if necessary.

My best advice is to try and be the best person you can be in whatever situation you find yourself in.  If there are things you want to change work on that but don’t beat yourself up.  Sometimes good enough really is good enough.  Do good for others, be kind, be generous with whatever you might have and smile – OFTEN!  Even when you don’t feel like it.

AND if you must have a resolution than just resolve to do the best you can with what 2016 brings your way.

 

 

 

I believe that St. Nick and the elves are probably exhausted.  I don’t just mean physically but probably mentally as well.  Let me explain what has caused my rumination on this matter.

St. Nick (or if you prefer Santa Claus) has been traditionally the keeper of the spirit of Christmas.  An example of Christian generosity and goodness.  I remember as a child getting oranges, pennies and that really huge candy cane in my stocking.  I set in Santa’s lap and asked for that one special toy that I couldn’t live without.  Anything else under the tree came from family.

These days Santa is probably overwhelmed, the endless lists, really greed and how can the elves keep up with production?  I’m sure there has been a good deal of outsourcing and probably some Amazon involvement.  St. Nick, the representative of the true spirit of Christmas must certainly feel he has failed humanity in his God given assignment of spreading the true meaning and spirit of Christmas.

Now comes to my reason for bringing all this to your attention.  St. Nick desperately needs your help.  I know you probably are trying to teach your children Christian charity and you are hopefully taking them to minister to the less fortunate.  You may be even be helping them donate some of their clothes and toys.   There is however a larger lesson to be taught here.  Something that in our current culture is almost impossible for adults and so harder for children.  Let’s teach our children to ask for less or better yet to want less.  We are always wanting and if we don’t fill our hearts and minds with things that God wants us to have then we waste our time and talents on filling our houses, our closets and our minds with things we really don’t need.  More and more of it until we have too much and still we want more.  Even those of us who think they are doing the right thing, those who are generous with their time and cash have too much.  Even those who think they are living a simple life style or off the grid, a tiny house or an organic garden are just really living in the fad of the moment.  It doesn’t come down to how little you have or how little you make do with, it comes down to wanting less.  It’s not a matter of having less or settling for less, it’s a matter of living your life in the moment that God has given you right now and being okay with that.  Satisfied.  This is the lesson to teach your children.  It’s okay to want that one special toy but they need to discern what that toy will be and be satisfied with that.  If more comes your way you may enjoy it, share it and be generous to those in need but first learn what it really means to be truly satisfied.  Restore St. Nick’s faith in humanity and teach your children and ourselves what the manger really represents – the greatest satisfaction comes as a gift not from a want or even a need.

 

When I was growing up you did not get your sense of self worth from your accomplishments.  Sure you might have gotten a pat on the back for doing something good but when you did things you were supposed to do (like clean your room or take out the trash) you really barely received an honorable mention.

What you received praise for,  was doing the right thing, taking the higher road, rising to the occasion.  It wasn’t about what you accomplished but what you did for someone else.  Opening the door wasn’t some sexist statement, it was a matter of respect for your fellow human being.  It was a kindness given with nothing else expected in return.  You did it because it was the right thing to do.  It didn’t matter whether you received a thank you, although you usually did, the accomplishment was in the doing.

People today, commonly across all generations I fear, are too concerned with their own personal accomplishments.  Self worth is directly related to self achievement.  Personal goals reached and personal feelings met.  Achieve, achieve, don’t ask for help, do it yourself and then please,  by all means pat yourself on the back.  Self esteem is king for you and your children.

How different would things be if people went back to doing what was right for the sake of what is right.  I don’t mean helping the sweet old lady down the street cut her grass or helping those less for fortunate with a donation, food or clothing.  All valuable pursuits to be sure.   I mean doing for the person you might not necessary like, or agree with.  I mean doing for the drug addict or alcoholic that you think might just take your kindness and buy a bottle or get high.  I am talking about giving the last ten dollars of cash in your pocket to the pan-handler that might be dressed better than  you are.  I am talking about being kind and courteous to the person that might be hateful and disrespectful to you.  I am speaking of doing something for someone who might not really appreciate it or care about it or ever do anything for you in return.

I know, today it sounds crazy.  It sounds naïve and even stupid.  Don’t be unwise, don’t be a victim.  Be smart, act smart and think smart.  Please give to the less fortunate but only on your terms.  Give to those that you feel is deserving.  Well I say to you that like cleaning your room or taking out the trash, like the kindness to your elderly neighbor or the meal to the new person on your block (while worthy), is really not a true act of kindness.  A true act of kindness is given with no expectation of repayment, no expectation of gratitude and no expectation of acknowledgement.

This act by you, thought of today as naïve and risky, foolish and reckless, is what really makes us human.  It is what will set us apart from the wild things.  It is what will save humanity and it will save your soul.  To give everyone, no matter how small, how different, how insignificant, how hateful, how sad, how troubled and disturbed, how sinful or sick, worthy or unworthy, to give them your kindness, your help or just your goodwill without expecting anything in return will put your heart at rest and set your mind at ease.  It may save a life, it may change a heart and you will never know.  But humanity will know and be better for it.

Crazy thought!  You actually need to write to have a blog.  That was the purpose of starting this.  I have an inherent need to write and have wanted to do a blog for a very long time.  Starting was step one but writing is step two.  The same things that kept me from starting have kept me from writing.  LIFE!  KIDS! WORK! HOUSE!  OUT DAMN SPOT!

In the wee hours of the morning, when my hereditary insomnia kicks in,  I have the brilliant sparks of thoughts running through my brain.  Unfortunately, sadly not a pen, paper or recorder in sight.   So here I am waxing not too poetic about life and why I can’t come up with a clever title for this post.

So what do I have to say to you!  You have given me at least 15 minutes of your time and are probably now wondering why.  Do it.  That’s my incredibly inspiring words of wisdom for you.  Quit trying to reach some high lofty goal, quit trying to reach some idea of perfection  you might have.  Quit waiting for the moment, the inspiration, the right time,  the right place or the right amount of money.  Stop trying to live up to someone else’s expectations or even your own.

JUMP NOW!  Into the scary abyss of life.  You don’t get anymore time or have any better moment than right now.  It’s all you get!  I expect you to do it.  Let me know if you do.

A few years ago some friends and I attended a conference featuring the speaker Matthew Kelly.  He was very inspiring and it prompted us to read several of his books.  One of his book, “The Dream Manager” was life changing for several of us.  We proceeded to talk about our dreams, what were dreams and how as we get older and more responsible (and busy) we forget how to dream.  Now we have a group where we share, compare and support each other’s dreams.  A blog has long been one of those dreams and so here it is, FINALLY!   I don’t know where this dream will take me but I hope you will join me for the ride.