When I was growing up you did not get your sense of self worth from your accomplishments.  Sure you might have gotten a pat on the back for doing something good but when you did things you were supposed to do (like clean your room or take out the trash) you really barely received an honorable mention.

What you received praise for,  was doing the right thing, taking the higher road, rising to the occasion.  It wasn’t about what you accomplished but what you did for someone else.  Opening the door wasn’t some sexist statement, it was a matter of respect for your fellow human being.  It was a kindness given with nothing else expected in return.  You did it because it was the right thing to do.  It didn’t matter whether you received a thank you, although you usually did, the accomplishment was in the doing.

People today, commonly across all generations I fear, are too concerned with their own personal accomplishments.  Self worth is directly related to self achievement.  Personal goals reached and personal feelings met.  Achieve, achieve, don’t ask for help, do it yourself and then please,  by all means pat yourself on the back.  Self esteem is king for you and your children.

How different would things be if people went back to doing what was right for the sake of what is right.  I don’t mean helping the sweet old lady down the street cut her grass or helping those less for fortunate with a donation, food or clothing.  All valuable pursuits to be sure.   I mean doing for the person you might not necessary like, or agree with.  I mean doing for the drug addict or alcoholic that you think might just take your kindness and buy a bottle or get high.  I am talking about giving the last ten dollars of cash in your pocket to the pan-handler that might be dressed better than  you are.  I am talking about being kind and courteous to the person that might be hateful and disrespectful to you.  I am speaking of doing something for someone who might not really appreciate it or care about it or ever do anything for you in return.

I know, today it sounds crazy.  It sounds naïve and even stupid.  Don’t be unwise, don’t be a victim.  Be smart, act smart and think smart.  Please give to the less fortunate but only on your terms.  Give to those that you feel is deserving.  Well I say to you that like cleaning your room or taking out the trash, like the kindness to your elderly neighbor or the meal to the new person on your block (while worthy), is really not a true act of kindness.  A true act of kindness is given with no expectation of repayment, no expectation of gratitude and no expectation of acknowledgement.

This act by you, thought of today as naïve and risky, foolish and reckless, is what really makes us human.  It is what will set us apart from the wild things.  It is what will save humanity and it will save your soul.  To give everyone, no matter how small, how different, how insignificant, how hateful, how sad, how troubled and disturbed, how sinful or sick, worthy or unworthy, to give them your kindness, your help or just your goodwill without expecting anything in return will put your heart at rest and set your mind at ease.  It may save a life, it may change a heart and you will never know.  But humanity will know and be better for it.